The Anonymous Actor #03
New York I love you but you’re bringing me down. I seemed to be singing that tune to myself a lot this week. What is about this city that can bring a performer down to his or her knees, begging for good news, and hoping that all the hard work: the countless auditions, learning new songs and monologues in less than a week for specific seasons or shows that you desire more than a cup of hot chocolate and a heated blanket on a chilly day? Sometimes the muck of the city catches me in its web and I feel like I won’t see the light of day for a while. Sometimes New York City can be downright depressing. I did not get an apartment that I was hoping for and now I am stuck in the muck of an apartment with three terrible roommates and living an hour away from Manhattan. I did not get a Christmas show that I was called back for that would have put the savings back in savings account. I was stuck in the muck of doubt about my singing abilities for the upcoming audition for Waitress, that I told you about last week – therefore I did not take the risk. I think I have discovered that sometimes I have to sit in the muck for a while in order to rise again cleansed, renewed and ready for the next set of challenges. I will never give up. But sometimes the road to happiness in the career I love is paved with more losses than wins, more risks than success, more downs than ups. New York I love you but you’re bringing me down.